Now you're just somebody that I used to know... I wonder if Christian Grey's submissives sing that song to themselves. Not sure if that would ever make them feel better but whatever. That's what happens when you deal with a "megalomaniac" or however Ana likes to describe Grey. I have this song on repeat to get my thoughts out on here. And onward we go...
So, I am going out on a limb that if you are reading this review then you have read the first book and if you haven't then shame on you because I am about to delve into some spoilers. You have been warned.
We left book one where Ana walks out on Christian because he flogs her with a belt, which she asked for by the way. This is what I don't get and infuriates me. She asked her Dominant (he is not her boyfriend, yet) to punish her. Then, she doesn't like it, cries and runs and leaves him. Now they have known each other for like three weeks and she is in love with him. What I want to tell her is that she is in love with having sex with him. Let's be honest. She's never had sex with anyone (I'll buy it for now) and only kissed someone twice (bitch please). That's what I find to be so unbelievable. Ana supposedly lives with a hot roommate who has boyfriends (who I assume has friends) and Kate has never tried to hook her up with anyone? Bitch please and an eye roll (will Grey punish me for the eye roll?). This girl is obviously naive as fuck (excuse my language but frankly that's all this girl says is "holy fuck" etc etc. Since I am obviously more sexually educated than this broad, you do not fall in love with the first guy you have sex with unless y'all been dating since high school. This Ana chick needs to get a grip you stupid trollop! She loves to have sex with him. Really, if you have really great sex with someone you feel that charge when you're near them you stupid ass. It's called chemistry as in, sex chemistry.
I digress (obviously I have issues with this). Ana breaks up with him for punishing her when she asks for it, walks out, and goes back to her apartment. She tries to give Christian back everything he gave her (mac book, blackberry, the damn Audi, the 45000 books) but Christian is all noble and says they were a gift blah blah blah. He cuts her a check for her Bug and she goes back home to cry.
Now, she is at the apartment all alone because her roommate Kate is in St. Barts or somewhere in the tropics for two weeks and she is not back yet. Ana starts her new job that Monday at SIP and she basically says that she wakes, works, cries, and sleeps. The Wednesday after her walking out on Christian (so not even a week), he sends her an email asking her if she needs a ride to Jose's art showing in Portland since she does not have a car. So he picks her up, asks her when she last had a real meal (obviously bitch is on the break up diet) and then she cries and they make up.
So in the first chapter, Ana gets back with Grey. Seriously? Seriously. Now as I peruse through the novel, to get my memory jogging, I picture Grey as someone with an English accent based on how he speaks. For instance, when they go to the art gallery, Grey refers to Jose as "the boy". Usually, now this may be the east coast kid in me, but we usually refer to someone we don't like as "that guy" or "kid". I realize E.L. James is English so I will cut her some slack here. Another thing (mind you this is all the first chapter) when Ana and Christian kiss (he pulls her into some dark alley, "oh piece of candy") and kisses her, he then "snarls" (no really, he snarls) "you are mine". I can't. I could use the word seriously over and over because I really can't believe what girl puts up with that shit. It's not "my girlfriend" no it's "you mine" like that's my car or that's my phone. A object. Stupid whore.
So this book is riddled with Grey and Ana referring to each other as "mine". I don't get it with these people. No normal person refers to their significant other as "mine". Don't get me wrong, if I am out with my boyfriend and I see some stupid trick looking him up and down, I do give the side eye with the whole "he's my boyfriend, tramp" but I never say "he's mine!".
I digress. I should take an English Lit course to write papers on this book all day long. However, this is suppose to be a review as how I see fit. The book is okay, her writing is still elementary BUT she does give some semblance to a plot line and we do get to learn a little bit more about Christian and his past. He continues to be a possessive control freak and Ana's boss Jack Hyde turns out to be an asshole. Kate is in love with Grey's brother Elliot and she finds out about the whole contract between Ana and Christian. There really needs to be more Kate in this novel because she is awesome. Ana is whiny as ever but the book is fast paced so you will finish it in no time.
Until next time, or laters, baby.
now and then I think of all the times that you screwed me over...
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